You’ve probably heard that “small acts of kindness can have a big impact.” And maybe you know about the positive impact you’ve had on others. Or maybe you’d like to pay more attention to how your words and actions affect others.
I’d like to tell you a story about how one man’s words gave me just the boost I needed at a low time in my life.
It’s January 2010.
I’m in a really bad place.
I have nothing.
I just finished my last semester of grad school.
But I didn’t finish the last paper so I’ll get an “incomplete” that will turn into an “F” on my transcript.
In fact, the semester was so bad, I quit grad school.
I vow never to set foot on Penn State soil again.
And it’s not just school. Nothing is going well. My first marriage is barely hanging on. I’ve already had a heart attack and I’m facing a breast cancer scare.
I want to crawl into bed and escape for the next ten years.
I have no job. No school. And my three kids are pretty self-sufficient.
And feeling like I have nothing to do and no goal is killing me.
I was a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. My goal is to get re-educated and get back into the workforce.
Obviously, it’s not going as planned. It’s debilitating to get so far, then get knocked off course.
I try to keep myself busy with the house. But there’s only so much cooking and cleaning to do. And it’s not helping my mind any. I’m losing weight. It’s hard to eat. And was thin enough. Now I just look sick.
So one day, I go to my gym. I feel so weak. I have to do something that gives me strength.
And I see Shyam. He’d been my professor for numerous classes. I love him because he’s a great teacher. In fact, he was the first teacher I had in grad school. I was scared because I hadn’t been in college for 17 years. But I survived his research methods class and realized I’d be fine.
So, I see him at the gym occasionally. And when I see him this time, he asks how I am. Boy did that open a can of worms!
He listens to me whine for a bit, then says “I’ve always enjoyed the way you think Dawn. So why not come to my weekly lab meeting on campus? You’re more than welcome. Just show up. You don’t have to do anything.”
Oh holy hell. What about my vow to quit and never go back?
I do my workout and spend a few days pondering his offer.
He’s not even my thesis advisor.
He’s not even on my thesis committee.
He’s not even my teacher anymore.
Yet, he invites me back into the fold, so to speak.
And so, about a week later, I go to one of his lab meetings. Walking to the Carnegie building is making me feel sick. But, I make it to the weekly meeting.
I’ve only been away from campus for about a month, yet all the media effects and research talk sounds like gobbledygook.
But after the meeting, I realize I’m back. I didn’t die. I can do this. I can finish my last paper and get started on my thesis.
And so I do. I keep going to lab meetings. And I finally finish that paper, then write and defend my thesis.
And all because Shyam reached out and showed kindness when I desperately needed it.
In this article about Shyam becoming the first Evan Pugh University Professor in the Bellisario College of Communications, Dean Marie Hardin says “In the field of communications and media-related research, Dr. Sundar knows few equals. He is a pioneer in producing ground-breaking research on the effects of digital media interfaces and more recently, human-computer interaction in the context of communication. His impact on the field has been remarkable.”
I’d add that his impact on students has also been remarkable.
And yes, I worked hard to get my Master’s. But I often wonder how much longer it would’ve taken if I hadn’t run into Shyam that day. Maybe I never would’ve gone back at all.
I’ve told him about the impact he had on me. But I get too teary-eyed when I talk about it so I’m not sure my words registered. 😁 Hence, this story.
Now, in 2024, I see the impact of one little thing. A kind word. An invitation.
And what we can all learn is it’s truly the little things we do that can make all the difference to someone else.
I’d love to hear if anything like this has happened to you.
* If you liked this story and would like to learn how to tell them in a similar way, I’m running half-day storytelling workshops in State College, PA this month. The workshop is great for beginners since you’ll learn why stories work so well to connect and motivate people. You’ll also learn how to create a memorable story and get to practice telling it IRL.
Also, some folks have expressed interest in reading my thesis. It’s about the lack of country music in national TV ads and “proof” that country music is cool.
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