Having the conversation vs. Avoiding the conversation

To avoid is human. To have that tough conversation is leadership success.

BOSS: Hey Jamie, what’s up?

JAMIE: It’s Brad. He’s late to every meeting, he deletes things from shared drives, and yesterday he gave a client the wrong presentation. It was from last year.

BOSS:  Classic Brad! Such a wildcard. 

JAMIE: It was a train wreck. The client asked if we’d been hacked.

BOSS: Well let’s focus on solutions, not problems! You know, meeting him where he’s at. Brad brings a certain magic that keeps things fresh.

JAMIE: Yesterday he put "YOLO" in an email to legal.

BOSS: Right. Let’s circle back next quarter. For now, let’s stay flexible.

This scenario may seem outrageous. But I bet many of you have been in a similar situation. You either tried to fix a problem - or ignored one.

In most workplaces, there’s a behavior that causes so much harm: avoidance.

We avoid the conversation with the underperforming team member. We avoid naming what’s not working. We pretend tension doesn’t exist.

It feels easier in the moment, but it comes at a cost: frustration, resentment, distrust, and wasted time.

So why do we do this?

• Fear of conflict – We’re afraid things will get tense or emotional.

• Desire to be liked – We don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or rock the boat.

• Uncertainty – We don’t know what to say or how to start.

• Fear of consequences – What if this makes things worse?

• Avoiding discomfort – We’d rather sit in silence than step into vulnerability.

• Power dynamics – It feels risky to speak up to someone in a higher position.

• Past experiences – Last time we tried, it didn’t go well.

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This happens in our private lives too and has the same effect. Of course we want to avoid something that feels dangerous!

It’s human to avoid. But in the workplace, especially for leaders and teams, avoidance just makes the issue fester and things get worse.

So what’s the way forward?

Storytelling.

When leaders share personal stories, they see results. And these kinds of stories work well:

• A story about a mistake you made and what you learned.

• A story about your values shows what’s important.

• A story about a turning point shows that change is possible.

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Stories don’t have to be dramatic. An honest two-minute story can prompt a twenty-minute conversation that moves things forward.

And if you’re interested in bringing a storytelling workshop to your team, let’s get in touch. My half-day workshops are best for 4-6 participants and the full-day is best for groups of 8-10.

Think of the workshop as strategic intervention. It’s a way to set yourself up for the harder conversations.

Let’s stop avoiding. DM me here, email me at TheGreatStoryWorkshop.com, or learn more at www.TheGreatStoryWorkshop.com